Today I went to go shoot some buckets at the Republic Community Center, and as I stepped out onto the court I realized I was the only one playing basketball. I was accompanied by elderly people who still wish to stay in shape by walking the track on the second floor, some kids who ran circles around the gym (one of my shots caromed off the rim and bonked a little tyke in the head), and Emmy Rossum.
Well, she was there in vocal presence at least, her voice coming down from the speakers.
You’re probably wondering the same thing I am about now. Emmy Rossum is a beautiful woman with a beautiful voice, but why the heck is her voice and soft style of music streaming down from the speakers in a facility that encourages physical activity? Did someone accidentally flip the switch to KTXR, the Gentle Giant of Springfield radio? Did someone ask them to put on Emmy’s album “Inside Out”? Who knows. It is a mystery to me and shall be for all time. Hearing vocal layering from a soft pop song talking about love, is quite the aural setting while I am sitting there popping off from the three-point line and shooting at a 65% clip. Blistering the nets, and Emmy is singing about life’s finer mysteries.
The most profound mystery of all is the setting…
- A nice gymnasium with a track
- Seven 65-and-over track walkers
- Emmy’s track “Slow Me Down” playing
- I’m not kidding one bit
Listen to it for yourself. Try to shoot buckets to this music. Might end up shooting something else.
After hearing that, you’ll find it amazing I was even able to make one bucket. I needed some Metallica or Audio Adrenaline or something.
Oh, admit it. You were so consumed with lustful thoughts of Emmy that it threw off your game and that’s the real reason you’re ticked.
Metallica GO!!!! You would even like some system or rage while working out. Gets you going, you know?
-Jas
By the way, good job at knocking the kid in the face! lol. And…. I gotta say it. Emmy is a friggin hottie!
-Jas