The World According To Chris Brewer

The Army is one of the most inefficient institutions on the face of this planet. Here’s today’s proof as to why.

I have an outprocessing checklist in my right hand. Okay, maybe I don’t because if I did I wouldn’t be typing this as fast as I am right now. Anyway, this outprocessing checklist that is sitting on my desk has a list of six items that I need to accomplish before I can get a letter saying that I am released from my deployment and I am in transit back to the U.S. Each appointment on this checklist took me less than two minutes to complete — only problem is, I was only able to complete a couple of them because some of these places are open today, another two are open tomorrow, and still another one is open only on Sunday. How retarded. If only the Army were like the Air Force and had all its outprocessing in ONE CENTRAL LOCATION, what should be twelve minutes of signing off forms would not be three days of having to walk back and forth between all these places.

That is today’s proof that if you are in the Army, you should pat yourself on the back because you are part of one of the most inefficient institutions on the face of God’s green earth. Sorry Jason, the Army is powerful and all, but they sure know how to munch up our tax money.

On another note, my good friend Brian Taylor gave his best shot at anchoring the sports report for Oregon News today. I can’t watch it over here because my connection is too slow, so Brian if you read this, tell the world how you rocked it on live TV. First it’s public access. Then it’s a #240 DMA market station. Then next thing you know you’re mackin’ on Katie Couric in the CBS News studio during commercial breaks. Ah, the glamorous life of a news broadcaster. The life I am going to try to live based on my experience, instead of a college degree — and minus the Katie Couric part please.

Jon Masters told me tonight that the Indiana Four (I’ve blogged about them before so you probably know who I’m talking about, and it doesn’t matter if you don’t know who they are, just read on) are coming to Newport News in July. The 20th-23rd, I think. I’m with Aftan in Oregon until the 22nd, so I won’t have to put up with any awkward drama until church that Sunday. I hope it goes well and I think it will if I can learn to keep my mouth shut.

Also in other news, Aftan’s grandma is recovering after heart surgery at St. Vincent’s Hospital in Portland this week. I didn’t write about it because the family deserved privacy, but I’m writing now because it’s a praise report and it looks like she’s gonna come through fine. Thanks for those of you that I talked to in private and have been praying.

Peace out for now.

Listen up, everyone, I’ve got some sweet deals on a bunch of electronics I’m trying to get rid of that are just taking up space in my dorm. Plus, there are some things I don’t even use anymore so here we go.

I’ll be selling these items on a first-come, first-served basis (this ain’t eBay, where someone can outbid someone else). First person who emails me and tells me they’d like to buy these items for the listed price, gets them. So if you wanna buy what I’m throwing out here, be the first to email me at chris@firestormlive.net and we’ll work stuff out. PayPal is my preferred method of payment, and like I said, we’ll work it out when it comes time.

Also, the buyer of these products is responsible for all shipping costs. USPS preferred.

Here we go, and here are the first two items I am selling:

60 GB Photo iPod - $150
This might be a steal for anyone willing to buy it. I got this just last October before I deployed to Iraq, but the conditions here have taken its toll on it (yes, I brought it out into the field with me). It plays normally, functions normally, etc. Only thing wrong with it is that the screen has a lot of scratches on it. I’ll include a photo soon.

Of course, you’ll get the USB cable that came with it, and that’s about it. You’ll have to download the iPod software and iTunes, but that’s free and no biggie. So if you’re in the market for an iPod that can store photos, hold 60 GB of data and only has a screen that has the crap scratched out of it, email me and I’ll part with it for $150.

Next item…

Old-School PlayStation 2 w/Games - SOLD
Sold already, go buy you a PS2 somewhere else, you fool.

Remember, first come, first served so email me QUICK if you want this stuff.

Yeah, that’s right.

Today was probably one of my happiest days at work in awhile as I cleaned out my workspace and finished my next-to-last news story. I’ve only got two days of legitimate work left, and it’s really starting to hit me that as demented and as crazy as it sounds, I’m going to miss this place somewhat. It’s been a life-enriching experience and I’ve served alongside some good people. I’m going to take a lot of experiences here and treasure them for years. I’ve seen the good, the bad and the downright ugly stuff that happens here (though I never got involved in any combat), and my respect for anyone who serves their country with a sense of national pride and a sense of duty has been greatly enhanced.

So here’s the main message that I want to pass along to everyone who reads this, and it’s a theme I keep repeating over and over and over, given the negative press we receive over here and public perception of us. You don’t have to support the war or the war effort at all…your views are your views and everyone is entitled to what they want to think. But if you enjoy the freedoms you have as a citizen of the great United States of America, you had better support each and every troop that comes over here and stand behind them no matter what. All the troops over here come from everywhere across the U.S., different walks of life and political views across the spectrum. Of course, a lot of the troops don’t want to be here either. But they are doing their job dutifully and making great sacrifices for a nation that really has never had the chance to enjoy life as it should be lived.

You don’t have to support the war, but please support the troops.

God bless!!!

This is weird, especially with the recent news (and we’re talking within the last ten hours or so) of TomKat giving birth to a baby girl.

Anyway, I had this dream last night/this morning that my family moved to the Washington, D.C. area for some reason, and I was called upon to help them. As it turned out, there was an old widow in Fairfax, VA (a D.C. suburb) that needed some help hauling stuff from her backyard out to a landfill, so I inquired…she paid well so I took the job.

This is where it gets awesome. I was walking upstairs to get something when I accidentally bumped into a young woman, and she introduced herself as Katie Holmes. The conversation went something like this:

Me: “Sorry about that. Can I help you with anything? I hope you’re not hurt…my name’s Chris Brewer by the way.”
Her: “I’m Katie Holmes…I’m sure you’ve heard about me before. I’m okay, thanks for asking.”
Me: “So you’re THE Katie Holmes, from Dawson’s Creek and Batman Begins. What are you doing in a place like this?”
Her: “Some [butt]hole got me pregnant so I had to come up here and live with my grandmother for awhile.”
Me: “You don’t look pregnant.”
Her: “The baby’s in the other room.”
Me: “Oh, I see. So you don’t hang around with Tom anymore???”
Her: “Not at all if I can help it.”
Me: “Well, here’s something you can’t help…let’s go out for some Italian.”
Her: “Okay.”

So we went to some Olive Garden-like place and exchanged pleasantries, and then I had to cut everything short. I basically had to tell her that I was already dating a girl named Aftan from Oregon and it wouldn’t be right for me to leave her for a famous person, or anyone else for that matter.

Then I woke up, only to read this morning that Katie indeed gave birth. How friggin’ scary.

I’m coming up to visit Aftan in Oregon from July 5-22…and we want to take some time and visit with all my old COGOP friends during my time there.

I’ve been talking with Pastor Rob Judd of Rivers Fellowship (the former Fircrest COGOP) and we’re in the planning stages of a get-together somewhere in Tacoma. We’ve set the date, July 15 (mark your calendar!!!) but we don’t have a place or time yet. Of course we’ll let you all know the info as we get it. It’s a Saturday so hopefully not too many of you have to work.

Spread the word. I’d love to see as many of you guys as I can. (Aftan will love to meet you all too.)

Cheers.

I think we’ve seen everything God has to throw at us weather-wise today. This morning there was a moderately bad dust storm, then it cleared out by about 10 AM and we started baking in the sun. After SSG Eubanks and I came back from lunch, the sun went into hiding and it started raining. It’s been raining off and on — raining hard, might I add — ever since. Then about 45 minutes ago I heard thunder rumble in the distance, so I decided to go outside and take a photo of gray skies. Only thing was, the skies aren’t gray. I went in and grabbed my camera, and snapped a few photos to capture a sky on fire from a distant dust storm and clouds full of rain. I’ve never seen the sky so odd-colored before, and I was glad to catch it on camera. (I swear I didn’t use Photoshop on this picture either!!!)

On another note, I’ve been tweaking the look of my website, specifically the blog. I hope you guys like the new design…I’m also going to reformat the main page and make it a little bit better for your eyes to see. Maybe I might make it black with white text and a few photos, I dunno. If you have any good ideas, let me hear ‘em.

Also today I bought an old White Heart album off the iTunes Music Store. Tales of Wonder was one of their better CDs, and I’ve listened to a few tracks from it already. I remember when Dad used to drive around his old Toyota pickup to church in Vancouver and he’d throw that cassette in. We’d listen to it and yeah, I got tired of it for awhile, but it was still a good CD. Glad I was able to find it on iTunes. Now if I could only find more DeGarmo & Key….

Be good out there. Hope you all had a great Easter!

The title says it all. I’ve got one week of work left. In essence, five more days.

This upcoming week I’ve got to push out three news stories, clean out my work area and get all the rest of my belongings ready so I can hit the high road — er, fly the friendly skies — back to the United States.

Other than that, nothing’s really going on, it’s late, and I need some rest before I go back to work tomorrow.

How do you guys like the new look, by the way? Neat, eh?

I’m sitting here listening to Spyro Gyra’s album The Deep End. In case you don’t know, Spyro Gyra is a jazz band that I first heard of while listening to KKJZ, a now-defunct Portland, Oregon smooth jazz radio station. I like to listen to some smooth jazz on some nights to help myself relax and unwind…I’ve done it since I had a small Sony portable radio/cassette player during my early teenage years.

A little bit of personal history follows.

Every now and then, after our obligatory 10 PM bedtime, I’d turn the radio on and get KKJZ in pretty clearly even though we lived 50 miles west of Portland. I’d hear tunes such as The Apostles’ cover of Marvin Gaye’s “Mercy Mercy Me,” The Rippingtons’ “She Likes To Watch,” The Yellowjackets’ “Local Hero” and so much more. Some of my favorite tracks (and they were station faves too as they played them over and over) were “Vest Pocket” by Fourplay, “Eastside” by Four80East, and for some reason, “Captain of Her Heart” by Double. I miss that station…it went off the air my junior year of high school, 2001, and became Lite Rock 106.7 and things were never the same. But it was about that same time I tuned into Longview’s KLYK “Magic 105.5″ at late nights and fall asleep to tunes such as “Sunset Grill” by Don Henley and “Someday” by Sugar Ray. I know it was somewhat against my parents’ policy to have the radio on late at night, but still I enjoyed listening to all the jazz and hits of the day that I could.

[Read more]

Aftan was just telling me about a bunch of Latino protestors gathering right outside their residence hall at school. Of course it was about the current immigration policy fiasco. What a racket, what a ruckus, what a terrible waste of time. I feel bad for Aftan and her friends who had to deal with this. I tell you, I’d give those protestors a piece of my mind and tell them how I feel about the whole immigration deal….

I have many Mexican friends, but I will say this…I feel just like any other red-blooded American who fights for the security of U.S. borders, the institution of English as the primary language, and the sacredness of our culture. Just like any patriot would feel about their country, I feel America is sacred and not only the fact that we have so many illegal immigrants in this country, but our politicians and powers-that-be are bending over backwards for them just goes to show we are losing what made America great in the first place. America is the melting pot of the world, but we’re not here to cater to any specific culture.

So here’s a message I’d gladly pass along to every one of these sick ingrates pushing for a free pass into America for illegal immigrants:

[Read more]

I’ve had some things on my mind lately. The following is scripturally based and I’m backing it up, so KER-POW, in your face, here it is. The top 3 things that make a mockery of Christianity. This has been my devotional for the week…enjoy.

THE TOP THREE THINGS THAT MAKE A MOCKERY OF CHRISTIANITY

1. When people say they are Christians but only live for him when it’s convenient. [bible]2 Timothy 3:5[/bible] clearly warns us that we need to stay away from people who call on the name of God when it’s convenient, make a show of religion, then go for the “best” the world has to offer. Sadly, this is the #1 problem in Christianity…people who say they’re Christians, but then they completely illegitimize their witness by going off and willfully sinning. Struggling with sin and trying to make an improvement is one thing, but living in sin and putting on a “form of Godliness” is treading a VERY dangerous line. [bible]Jesus said in Matthew 10:32-33[/bible] that if we deny God then he will deny us to His Father (God) in heaven.

When we willfully sin with no intention to live a holy life for Jesus, we deny God with our actions and basically spit in His face. It’s up to each of us to make the commitment to Jesus, because now is the time of salvation. Why wait? It’s time to live a holy life for God NOW ([bible]2 Corinthians 6:2[/bible]) because we don’t know the day or the hour when Jesus is coming back ([bible]Matthew 24:36[/bible]). We have GOT to be ready.

[Read more]