So You Want To Live In America?

Aftan was just telling me about a bunch of Latino protestors gathering right outside their residence hall at school. Of course it was about the current immigration policy fiasco. What a racket, what a ruckus, what a terrible waste of time. I feel bad for Aftan and her friends who had to deal with this. I tell you, I’d give those protestors a piece of my mind and tell them how I feel about the whole immigration deal….

I have many Mexican friends, but I will say this…I feel just like any other red-blooded American who fights for the security of U.S. borders, the institution of English as the primary language, and the sacredness of our culture. Just like any patriot would feel about their country, I feel America is sacred and not only the fact that we have so many illegal immigrants in this country, but our politicians and powers-that-be are bending over backwards for them just goes to show we are losing what made America great in the first place. America is the melting pot of the world, but we’re not here to cater to any specific culture.

So here’s a message I’d gladly pass along to every one of these sick ingrates pushing for a free pass into America for illegal immigrants:

So you want to live in America? Learn English, for God’s sake….you’d expect me to learn German if I lived in Germany, or Japanese if I lived in Japan, and yes, Spanish if I moved into Mexico. Respect our culture…we respect yours, you have a history just like we have ours. And please, enter our country the legal way…it’s not that hard to be granted an immigrant visa or green card.

I have friends who have immigrated from other nations, because they hold America in high regard and respect it as an honorable nation where they can live a better life. I respect them because their motives were pure and they went through painstaking processes to ensure they became a legal naturalized citizen of this great nation. I don’t respect you, because you do not respect the sanctity of my country and its ideals, and you do not respect what we as Americans work for when we put our hand to the plow every day. You do not deserve to live here, much less set foot on American soil.

My taxes pay to support people like you who freeload off the goodness of the American people and our government, and we get NOTHING in return. Either return to your home country or submit to the law of the country you illegally call home, that is if you feel you deserve to live here…pay up and become a legal citizen.

I’m not intolerant, I’m just tired of being expected to uphold the law and be an honorable citizen of my nation when there are thousands, if not millions, of people who have sneaked into America from across the border only to get a free ride from hard working citizens like myself. It’s time we pushed back against these immigration protests and knocked some hard sense into these people.

INGENIOUS CHRIS BREWER IDEA!!! I am thinking we should create a separate branch of the military…form it by arresting the illegal immigrants, training them for field operations in the military, and then send them over to fight in Iraq. That way, they’d be gainfully employed, we would be paying a fraction of the cost that we do now for the war, and our troops could come home quicker. It would benefit us…but too bad something like this would darn sure make everyone think twice about entering America illegally.

With that, I include an email Aftan forwarded to me last night.

Dear President Bush:

I’m about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I’m going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I’m sure they handle those things the same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I’m on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver’s license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won’t make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all
police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have ! a nice job without paying any taxes, and don’t enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won’t mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

Sincerely,
David M. Bresnahan

2 Responses to “So You Want To Live In America?”


  1. 1 Aftan

    Well, I think that Chris pretty much said what I would have said on the subject. Today was a bunch of crap. A bunch of people that are taking my American earned student aid money marching through campus wanting the same rights as any other American. Problem is, they already are offered these rights but they are to darn lazy to go through the process of gaining citezenship. If I were to go to their country I would be obligated to fully conform to their laws and standards. Yet they come here and pick and choose. They talk crap about America and its laws, yet use the laws protection to make jerks out of themselves, disrupt classes, and wave that American flag. It kills me that this is what our society has come to. Chris…be proud…while you are out there putting your life on the line…this is what you are fighting for. Its a bunch of crap and I am sorry that you are being disrespected in this way. I agree….lets give them a gun, a uniform, take away their choices, and make them sit in a sand box for 6 months fighting for equal rights. They at least wouldnt be a waste of skin that way.

    Just like an immigrant that I talked to awhile back. Came here, became an american citizen, and then sat there and tried to tell me that MY country is crap. Knowing that someone that I care deeply about is over there fighting for her rights as well as mine she had the nerve to tell me that this country is crap and that we have it all wrong. People like that need to go back to their mother country and rot in their great trap of a government for all I care. If it is so darn bad THEN LEAVE!

  2. 2 Sybil

    Okay, this is a sticky and tricky situation. First off, as we all know our country has open arms for all the oppressed,tired, weary peoples of other countries. However it says to do it the legal way. And I agree. I do feel that we need to have compassion, and realize that some of these illegal immigrants have entered our country because life is so hard and oppressive in Mexico. And then there are those who take advantage.
    My problem isn’t with the illegals so much as it is with the apparent approval of our government to turn a blind eye to what is transpiring. I mean we have politicians whose nannies are illegal immigrants, because the wage they pay them is so little.
    But to me, bottom line, although
    I don’t agree with illegal immigrants having more rights i.e. health care, schooling, no-taxes; they are still humans and let’s treat them as such. We don’t need the ACLU that tries divide our country by giving “special” rights to illegals. We should ALL come under the same laws, but instead our government promotes special interest groups that don’t have to abide by the laws that are made to govern all the people in America equally. My mom came here from Germany and she learned how to speak English, and she worked by the sweat of her brow and not once took welfare to make ends meet. Instead she taught her kids that honesty and hard work do pay off. We weren’t rich by any means, but we held our heads high because we didn’t have to take a hand out nor expected to.

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