This thought came to me today….
Six months apart from the people you know and have shared your life with for a good amount of time can have an interesting effect on your friendship with them when you go back to be with them again. Don’t ask me how, but it can.
It wears on me…even though my deployment is only 179 days (as compared to the Army and Navy’s year-long tour of duty), I have missed some pretty huge church events, holidays, and social functions that otherwise I would have attended (and probably taken for granted the ability to do so). It’s good to see that the youth group is making tremendous strides as a group and as individuals in their walk with Christ, but physical separation from them means it’s happening without me. I would have loved to have been a part of it, and now when I go back it’s going to feel so different.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m less or more spiritual than anyone else. I just feel like this deployment has been highly effective in me “missing the boat,” so to speak, on a spiritual “regeneration” at Lakeside Church. I’m sure there are new people there I haven’t even met yet, methods and means of ministry have changed, and people have formed more intimate friendships with each other, while I am 5,960 miles from where everything is happening.
I sorta feel like I’ve been hung out to dry, and that’s mostly due to the simple fact I’ve been deployed. I honestly hope and pray that when I go back, folks will realize it’s going to be so hard for me to just go back to the way things once were in all our friendships…and they’ll understand and bear with me as I get back into a normal routine and try to become involved with everything again. I’m also kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place though, because when I go back, I’m only in Virginia for six months, then it’s goodbye Newport News, hello Springfield.
So as you can see, coming back to the States will be pretty sweet, but there’s a lot of stuff to work on when I get back. And I’m not talking about my car either.
We will welcome you back, Chris and it will be great to see you. Life does move on and things are always changing, but you will come back a little older, a little wiser, a little more grateful and humble to be back in the good ole USA. And you will be among friends. Just make the most of your 6 months here in Newport News and be a part of and involved with the youth group once again (because that is who you are) before going on to Springfield.
Love ya,
Debbie
I apologize for not commenting on this sooner. I had to get through finals:)
Yea….things are going to be really different when you get back. I can only imagine how hard it has to be to be told that you have to pick up and move away from everyone that you know and everything that is familiar to you. It has to totally suck to say the least. The best that you can hope for is that you never really have to feel left behind. That the people that are back at your church; your friends, family, and community do everything possible to stay in contact with you when you are gone.
It is definaly an eye opening situation when you have a friend or loved one go away on deployment like you have, Chris. It is so easy to say that you will keep in toush when the person is still state side. You tell them that you are going to miss them…that you will write…that you will send cookies and cards….but how often do people really follow through with those promises? I bet it would be safe to assume not even half.
Once the person is gone it is so easy to get wrapped up in everyday life. To say oh….I will write Chris tomorrow (or whomever it may be) Then tomorrow happens…and the next….Life comes at you fast I guess. Pretty soon the deployment is almost over and you are left with a guy sitting in a sand box wondering where all of those promised emails, cards, pictures, and letters are.
I know I did the same thing last year when my cousin headed off to the same area that Chris is at. You have the best intentions to write…but it keeps getting put off. Danial was gone for a year and I think I wrote him twice. It was definatly an eye opener when he got back and told me how much it HURT that I didnt write more. My intentions were never to hurt him…definatly opened my eyes like I said. They are over their fighting for what is “right” and all they ask in return is thoughts, prayers, and a few emails. I think that is a pretty small thing to ask.
So yea, I can totally understand where you are coming from Chris. It must be a totally ackward feeling to think of going back to “normal” I mean what is normal to you now? It is going to take some major adjusting…I just hope you had that constant flow of emails, prayers and love needed. I know I tried but it can never be enough.
There is no such thing as normal anymore.
Things have changed too much in the past six months for there to be any sort of normalcy to life. And they’ll continue to keep changing for at least the next year.
Of course Aftan, you’ve been the best one at keeping in touch. You’re the best friend I’ve got and one of the very few voices of reason that I’ve needed, that have been easily accessible over the past six months.