The World According To Chris Brewer

Why do I always post stuff on here when I’m tired?

After receiving numerous emails on the subject of the Walker, Texas Ranger Lever, I am inclined to share a story. My younger brother Jason used to love that show, and tried to watch it every week. I think he only found out about that show around 1996 or so, when he was 9 and his friend Brandon used to watch it. Of course back in those days I hated everything my brother liked, so naturally I hated Walker too. And with good reason, the acting was horrible, the fights were predictable, the bad guys couldn’t hit the back side of a barn with their gunshots.

Of course having to be in the living room with my brother while he intently watched Walker was bad enough. It was so much worse when he and Brandon Blumenthal (good kid, by the way) would get together and watch it. I remember one time they were sitting in our living room and really enjoying a fight scene, when suddenly I grabbed the remote control, pressed MUTE and inserted my own dialogue. Me, never having anything good to say until I turned 18, would always say something stupid and Jason would yell at me. It was classic. Then one time my dad joined in the stupid dialogue, and the Walker Lovers ran into Jason’s bedroom where they could watch the show (albeit in crappy quality because his TV antenna consisted of aluminum foil and I think a fork) while Dad and I laughed really hard at watching the fight scenes silently. Mom would be baking in the kitchen and would scold Dad and I for running Jason and Brandon out of the living room. Then Martial Law, that stupid show with Sammo Hung and Arsenio Hall that featured yet more kicking the crap out of bad guys, would come on and everyone would reconvene in the living room, having settled their differences. Then we realized Sammo didn’t know English and we would hit MUTE all over again and insert our own dialogue.

Fun times. Jason and I look back at stuff like that now and laugh until we cry for no reason.