Saw this Starbucks commercial floating around the internet tonight, and for some reason I laughed really hard. Check it out.
Monthly Archive for August, 2005
Sorry guys, but a sobering post tonight.
I know Hurricane Katrina has been the topic of discussion for the past two days, and some people are tired of hearing about it. If you happen to be one of those people, get a heart and realize that this could very well be the worst natural disaster in U.S. history. And it certainly doesn’t help that the city of New Orleans was once only protected from Lake Ponchartrain and the Mississippi River by simple levees.
What has gone on over the past couple days has helped me not only realize how blessed I am to have a roof over my head, clothes to wear and food to eat — but I also have an overwhelming sense of sadness when I see pictures and video from the hurricane and subsequent flooding. Channel 4 out of New Orleans, WWL, showed some surreal video: a freeway submerged and pieces of bridges floating around, people who lost their homes looking around wondering what to do next with their lives, Coast Guardsmen rescuing people from their houses, broadcasters throwing away all the common rules of what goes on at the news desk and appearing just as human as the rest of us. Take the tsunami that hit Sri Lanka and equate the damage with what happened here in the Gulf Coast….it’s that bad. The magnitude of what is going on down there is staggering.
Not only was New Orleans hit hard, but Alabama and Mississippi were walloped too. Mobile, AL is another city underwater. Biloxi and Gulfport, MS have ceased to exist. It’s a nightmare. Look at the video on any major news network and you’ll see it’s a wonder how anyone survived.
On a personal note, I have friends who live down in Mississippi. Can’t reach them…I tried calling my friend Wendy on her cell phone and I got a repeated message saying that phone service has been cut due to the hurricane. I remember meeting a bunch of the Mississippi folks at the COGOP’s national youth conference this year….I have been in constant prayer for not only them and their families, but for everyone affected by this disaster.
The worst thing anyone living in New Orleans and the surrounding area could have feared, has happened. Millions are homeless, many cities have been destroyed and those of us who have not been immediately affected should find some way to help out…whether it be by a simple prayer, financial support, or whatever God leads you to do.
I have decided to start posting recipes of different concoctions (whether it be a different drink, a new food or something) that I come up with. If I get drunk unintentionally, it is not my fault. Here we go with #1.
THE ORANGE BREWSTRADAMUS
Figure 105.1 Ingredients needed for the Orange Brewstradamus.
Ingredients you will need:
8 cubes of ice from your ice tray
Two cups of orange juice (Tropicana Grovestand works best for me)
Three heaping scoops of vanilla ice cream (Edy’s Vanilla Bean on my end)
INSTRUCTIONS
Take your ice tray and whap it on something hard. This will force all the ice loose. Then put eight — just eight, no more, no less — ice cubes in a blender and let them sit for roughly 24 seconds. Then carefully measure two cups of orange juice, or you could just guesstimate, that’s fine with me. Pour those two cups into the blender. Then scoop roughly three heaping scoops of vanilla ice cream about a softball size. If it’s baseball size then scoop five times. If it’s basketball size then you are a fat turd. Put those scoops into the blender. Then blend for about 43 seconds to make sure all the ice is broken up nicely. After you blend, your concoction should look similar to Figure 105.2. If it does not, you did not make it the Chris Brewer Way.
If it does though, serve and enjoy your ORANGE BREWSTRADAMUS.
Figure 105.2. The Orange Brewstradamus with my 5.1 surround sound receiver in the background.
Let me know how it sounds, or if you actually try it, how it tastes. Voulez vous.
Apparently I haven’t updated this thing in four days. Allow me the opportunity to share with you the goings-on of Friday, Saturday and yesterday.
Friday we played volleyball at the church. I spiked it and hit Adam Gillette in the shoulder. If that thing hit his face it might have derailed his baseball career. He got me back later though so it’s all good from both our perspectives. It was probably the most interesting set of volleyball matches I have ever played–we had a bunch of kids we were trying to teach the game to, some of us that were relatively decent (I inculde myself in that category) and those who could rock it any day. To use one of the worst structured sentences in broadcasting, a good time was had by all.
Saturday I woke up early, about 7:30ish, and ventured on up to Washington D.C. for I think the sixth or seventh time this year to visit my dad. Stopped at Krispy Kreme on Big Bethel Road, forgot I could use my card and scrounged up whatever change I could to buy four original glazed donuts. Hot and fresh Krispy Kremes don’t compare to anything else. I’m just glad they finally expanded to Oregon before I moved away. Anyhoo, headed up to DC in a fierce wind and rain, and visited Dad for the day…we went to the National Cathedral which was pretty cool, but we couldn’t get inside it. They were doing construction on it (what isn’t being touched by construction these days) and the power was out. So we went into the garden and I got some great pictures there, like this one and this one. (In fact, all the 2048×1360 resolution pictures on there would make nice widescreen desktop backgrounds.) After that, we went to Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse and I ate an entire plate of barbecue chicken nachos (see below).
Figure 104.1. Barbecue Chicken Nachos at Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse.
The only thing that sucks about that place is that it is situated right outside the Largo Town Center, which is possibly the nicest shopping area that constantly attracts folks from the ghetto. Drive there on a Saturday night and most of the vehicles you pass will be Prince George’s County Police. I’m not kidding. Anyhoo, after that we went to Potomac Mills Mall, the crappiest big mall I have ever been in. Seriously. Only one FYE and not much else in the way of anything that is remotely interesting to me. I left there at 8:30, said goodbye to my dad and got back in Newport News around 11ishness.
Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!!! I was at Lakeside Church for a total of 32 minutes before I felt faint and tired, so I went home. Collapsed right into my bed and slept. Seriously. Didn’t wake up until 5:40 in the afternoon. I ordered pizza and hot wings and kicked it for the rest of the day. Just sat around and updated my photo album online. It was nice…no one there to bother me. There are just some days that as outgoing as one may be, you just need time and space alone…yesterday was one of those days for me.
And here it is Monday, and work has crept back upon me. Crap. Gotta run now, will post more later of course.
Figure 104.2. A sign encouraging people to get freaky in the back of my Chrysler. Found on Indian River Road near Oxon Hill, Maryland.
Check this out. The following is a true story. Back in January 1996, the Rev. Joe Wright, senior pastor of the 2,500-member Central Christian Church in Wichita, was invited to offer the opening prayer at a session of the Kansas House of Representatives…and the prayer he offered was the following…
Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and seek your direction and guidance. We know your Word says, “Woe to those who call evil good,” but that’s exactly what we’ve done.
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and inverted our values.
We confess that we have ridiculed the absolute truth of your Word and called it moral pluralism.
We have worshipped other gods and called it multiculturalism.
We have endorsed perversion and called it an alternative lifestyle.
We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.
We have neglected the needy and called it self-preservation.
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building esteem.
We have abused power and called it political savvy.
We have coveted our neighbors’ possessions and called it ambition.
We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression.
We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.
Search us O God and know our hearts today; try us and see if there be some wicked way in us; cleanse us from every sin and set us free.
Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent here by the people of Kansas, and who have been ordained by you, to govern this great state.
Grant them your wisdom to rule and may their decisions direct us to the center of your will. I ask it in the name of your son, the living savior, Jesus Christ.
Amen.
Here’s five minutes of the latest news, but first a question.
Have you ever tried your hardest to be friends with someone by trying to reach out to them every way you know possible, only to have them spew self-righteous spit right back into your face? Just wondering. I may explain more in a future post.
Ok, now turning to the news…
Tyler proposed to Tori last night at the church and I was there to witness it with about ten other people. Of course she said yes. I’m happy and excited for the new couple. Get this…Tyler’s one year younger than I am and light years ahead of me when it comes to relationships. Oh well…congratulations and more power to him. Personally, I’m glad and proud to have been invited to witness the engagement. It really was something to see. I will be posting video of the proposal soon.
In other news, I talked to Wendy again tonight for the first time in a couple months. For those of you who don’t know, she’s this woman (yeah, I said WOMAN) from Mississippi that just took up a job teaching high schoolers geometry. I’ve known her for about a year and a half…we used to talk all the time while I was overseas and she was still working on getting her degree. It was awesome to be able to talk to her. I just wish she and I could hang out and she teach me geometry sometime. 
Did anyone see that show “Inside 9-11″ on the National Geographic Channel? I thought it was interesting…a miniseries that detailed the months leading up to, moments of, and weeks following the attacks on the WTC and Pentagon. Very chilling accounts of what went on. I would recommend for anyone who doubts the validity of the attacks to watch the show.
Friday night is Friday Fire II at the church…except this time it’s not a concert. Instead it’s food, fun and games (read: volleyball). Set it for me and I will spike it…and we’ll win 15-0.
I’m out. Bedtime. Hooray for five hours of sleep.
Why do I always post stuff on here when I’m tired?
After receiving numerous emails on the subject of the Walker, Texas Ranger Lever, I am inclined to share a story. My younger brother Jason used to love that show, and tried to watch it every week. I think he only found out about that show around 1996 or so, when he was 9 and his friend Brandon used to watch it. Of course back in those days I hated everything my brother liked, so naturally I hated Walker too. And with good reason, the acting was horrible, the fights were predictable, the bad guys couldn’t hit the back side of a barn with their gunshots.
Of course having to be in the living room with my brother while he intently watched Walker was bad enough. It was so much worse when he and Brandon Blumenthal (good kid, by the way) would get together and watch it. I remember one time they were sitting in our living room and really enjoying a fight scene, when suddenly I grabbed the remote control, pressed MUTE and inserted my own dialogue. Me, never having anything good to say until I turned 18, would always say something stupid and Jason would yell at me. It was classic. Then one time my dad joined in the stupid dialogue, and the Walker Lovers ran into Jason’s bedroom where they could watch the show (albeit in crappy quality because his TV antenna consisted of aluminum foil and I think a fork) while Dad and I laughed really hard at watching the fight scenes silently. Mom would be baking in the kitchen and would scold Dad and I for running Jason and Brandon out of the living room. Then Martial Law, that stupid show with Sammo Hung and Arsenio Hall that featured yet more kicking the crap out of bad guys, would come on and everyone would reconvene in the living room, having settled their differences. Then we realized Sammo didn’t know English and we would hit MUTE all over again and insert our own dialogue.
Fun times. Jason and I look back at stuff like that now and laugh until we cry for no reason.
I was just awakened by a cricket that was apparently looking for sex (or mating, or whatever you want to call it) in all the wrong places. Cricket, meet Mr. Shoe.
Short blog post of course, since I’m half asleep. I am alive and will update tomo–oh crap, later today.
Hey everyone, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted about myself.
By now most of you know that it is completely official that I will be deploying to Camp Liberty in Baghdad, Iraq. Honestly, I’m not really enthusiastic or excited at the prospect of having to pretty much waste half a year over there, but the New York Times printed an article five days ago that made me feel so much better about my situation.
Link: New York Times Article About Life at Camp Liberty
Check out these pictures (courtesy The New York Times):
Is God gonna take care of me or what?
I found this A-Team review on JumpTheShark.com that I wrote when I was 18. I never knew I possessed such awesome writing skills.
I thank God for the public service provided by the A-Team writers, showing me how a single .223 round, fired from a fully automatic Mini-14, hitting a hood latch just right, can cause a full engine compartment explosion which can launch a car 20 feet in the air with a subsequent rollover. Because I now know this, I always wear a football helmet when I drive my grey ‘77 Caprice to work.
Now Season 2 has come out on DVD. I need to buy it.
What Everyone's Saying
Chris, Jason, B-Rye, Charlotte
Larry, Chris, Daniel Browning
Sybil, Chris, jalisha, Sybil
Jason
Rainier Alumini, Rainier Alumini, gordo, Chris, Teeh, Sunshine [...]
Jason, Dad, Jason